Things I've Wanted to Say to Max on Facebook

Today is July 31. Happy Birthday to anyone who happens to have a birthday today!

Recently, there has been a lot of things I've wanted to say to Max on Facebook (hence my title). I figure I'm not allowed to say them on Facebook, but I can say whatever I want (to an extent) on this blog. So on this last post before I switch back to the even-numbered days, I'm gonna do that.

Max, on July 11, you were clearly scheming to "get" me. You had these two statuses in a row:

"That's Absurd! YOU'RE ABSURD! What? Say that to my face! YOU'RE ABSURD. THAT'S ABSURD!"

"A nerdfighter is someone who instead of being of like bones and skin and tissue is made entirely of awesome. No, we are clearly pro-nerd. Facebook, I am a Nerdfighter."

You thought I couldn't resist liking them, didn't you? Well, I really liked both of them inside of my head, and I want you to be aware of that.

Next, anything to do with your glasses or astigmatism: I really wanted to comment on it. I mean, it's totally true that glasses make you feel taller if you're near sighted. Also, I think I wanted to like your new profile picture, the first picture I saw of you with glasses:

Then, on Thursday, Amy posted on your wall praising you for referencing AVPM in your blog before realizing that . . . hey, that wasn't you, that was the other guy. See how much cooler you would be if you read Harry Potter?

I can't help but think that when you commented on Abby's status with "HP IS REAL!" last night that it was another plot of yours. I didn't fall for it; I didn't. If I had fallen for it, I probably would have commented immediately.

Finally, this picture:

If you turn your head a few degrees and look at this book from a few yards away with a cursory, half-a-second glance, this guy looks like you.

If I Die Young - The Band Perry

Bryan, this is my last post on an even date for a while.

Before you look at the poll results, I must warn you:  If you have small children in the room, please have them look away.

Yes, Bryan, everyone wants us to do a double punishment except for you, me, and another person (unless you are like me and voted twice).

As we said earlier though, the ultimate decision will be left up to Bryan and me as far as what we want to do for our punishment since we really did not break any rules.

Bryan, since tomorrow ends July, I found it necessary to look up what all happened in July and I realized I had not participated in Cell Phone Courtesy Month!  I think that maybe I should let my cell phone sleep in my bed or something, but I just realized how useless that would be.

Next topic!  Bryan, I have had a rough day so this post is very choppy, sorry about that.

At Ball State, I was told my singing was lovely, but the same person said that it was like elevator music.  I am very confused as to if that was a compliment or not, in case you were wondering.

Okay, now for some July wrap up news.  Bryan, during July, we received a little over 600 fewer views than during June.  I think that this may be because of people going on vacation and the like, but I really hope that this is not a trend.

At our current rate, we will hit our 10,000^th view at some point during September with around 30,000 views in May, but that will require us not to stay on this downward slope.

We also hit our 10^th foreign country view.  Ireland took the spot as our second highest foreign country viewer (using many adjectives can be fun!).

Okay, I end this post with a song, because music is fun and it is raining and I am sad and I am tired and Zoey is lying on the couch watching it rain.

  

Until August,

Goodnight Bryan.

I Don't Smell Like Whipped Cream

Max, I'm glad you had a good time on your secret mission! Ball State is a fun place to have secret missions; I have experience with that.

I can't go to band camp and not blog about what happened -- it has to be my theme this week. So I'm going to tell you what we did . . . today!

For the first hour, we marched and played our opener, "It Had Better Be Tonight" (and I think I posted the video for that a few days ago). Monday through Thursday was basically nothing but marching, so it was nice to just have an hour of marching and playing and the rest . . . inside. I like inside.

Then, sectionals! Since I'm a drum major, I never have a set schedule for sectional time, and I just do what needs to be done. Today, what needed to be done was intruding upon the clarinet sectional. What made it even better was that last year's graduates came at this tiiime! Abby, Christian, Joey . . . yes.

After we played through our show with full band, it was time for skits. Naturally, I was in the saxophone/horn skit, as I'm an oboe-playing drum major. So our skit was good, but the memorable thing for me was getting whipped cream all over me during the flute skit. Bahh. I don't like getting things all over me.

So I got whipped cream all over me, and I went in the bathroom and washed it all off and I was kind of wet for an hour. Remember this part. Remember it.

Then, we played the name game where the seniors guess the freshmen's names and vice versa. Guess which senior totally won the name game? I only missed one middle name.

The prayer service went well. I shared two of my favorite aphorisms: "Those who achieve all their aims probably set them too low" and "Don't be a douche bag."

Let's skip ahead to the band picnic. Remember when I got whipped cream all over me against my will? Think the same thing except replace it with shaving cream -- ten times more than the last time. Then I got wet again.

And now I'm wearing dry clothes, and it's great!

Also, I don't smell like whipped cream anymore. I smell like shaving cream. Imagery?

Thnks fr th mmrs - Fall Out Boy

Howdy to any of my BSU friends who decided to follow this.  Go to the right sidebar to find out about what this blog is!

Oh Bryan, today I contemplate the pros and cons of receiving a punishment in order to sum up fully everything I learned at “The Greatest Workshop on Earth.”

Here is my class!

 

Bryan, that picture is courtesy of BSUCrossroads.com and BSU Crossroads on Facebook (They have a Twitter, but I do not know what that is).

So, I am sure you want to know all the details about them.  Here is everything I learned about my class. 

Bryan, I may be in the top ten in our Roncalli class, but I was probably one of the worst five in that class at InDesign.  Also, after spending a combined 25 hours with these people doing nothing but staring at Macs (get it, they all stared at me… it is punny…), I learned that it is an unbelievably boring program, no matter how fun your class is.

Thank you class, for not allowing me to fall asleep during sessions.

Making your words sideways not only says that you ran out of room to make them horizontal, but also that you wanted to make your paper “modern.”  That is right ,Bryan, I made an entire feature page where everything was diagonal.

When an all girl’s Catholic school from Kansas is brought to Indiana and there is a boy-girl dance, do not be surprised when they all dress Goth to freak out everyone.  It was the greatest thing I have ever seen to see some of the nicest people in the world paint black tears on their face and dance to Sk8er Boi by Avril Lavinge.

Blue Berry muffins make the best stories known to mankind.

There are many fun high school names in Indiana.  I cannot remember any of them, so you will just have to trust me on that one!

Publication Redesign is a great class to take if you want to redesign your publication.  Yes Bryan, I am dead serious.

Do not get mad at random people working in the office before you find out who your teacher is.  Nothing is more awkward than seeing that it is your teacher.

When people complain about how hot their rooms are, do not point out that you woke up shivering because you sleep in one of the few rooms that has air conditioning.

If you are going to show off your group’s Facebook page at the opening session, remember the following tips:  do not misspell your password in front of everyone and turn off the projector to avoid statuses such as “Asian parents are bitches” from coming up.

If you volunteer to be a contestant on “Name that Journalist!” know more than zero journalists.  Luckily, I was the buzzer so someone just had to tap my head and I just had to scream as if I had just seen someone famous.

I have an awkward love of HiLite.  It is Carmel’s newspaper.  I almost fainted when I was talking to someone from their staff.   Is that… bizarre?  No, I actually think that it is quite normal.

It was my first major glasses experience.  When I took them off, I could still see the black lines where the frames should be.

Okay, I am out of words.

Things You Learn at Band Camp

"14-4...  Wow :-/" -- a direct quote from a Max-text I got yesterday. Keep up the good work on the poll, everyone.

Speaking of good work, good work with your Top Ten Tuesday, Max; I learned a lot.

Speaking of learning a lot, I've learned a lot of things in the past three days, and I want to convey a couple of important messages to humanity. What I'm about to say is usually contained within the walls of band camp, so this is a special day.

That. Suave for Men shampoo. I would say that about, hmm, half of the guys in band use it. Why is that? Because they're awesome. Why do I know that? If you have to ask, you'll never know; if you know, you need only ask. (Aaanyone?)

Saran wrap: it's more fun to be on the outside of it than it is to be on the inside of it. I think that statement is true a large majority of the time, but I should specify that it's not so great when you're on the outside of the saran wrap and your instrument case is on the inside. The juniors did a pretty good job with the prank, but they definitely got a freshman's trumpet case on accident, so it could have gone more smoothly.

Finally, I've learned that everyone's life has room (grammar?) for a little bit of Tom Lehrer. Some people like me could probably use a little bit more of him than others, but a little bit of him is never a bad thing.

I mean, we're also learning things about music, and we're marching . . . a lot. I think everyone will agree that I'm fully qualified to make this comparison: marching band is far more intense than any sport. My nose is only a little bit sunburned.

Have a good rest-of-the-week, Max at Ball State and everyone else at other places! We can start the TPA Book Club in a few days or weeks -- whichever works best.

Dog Days are Over - Florence and the Machine

Howdy, Bryan, I am still on my secret mission, but I decided that I could still effectively type a Top Ten Tuesday.  Therefore, the dog days are over.  I know that this did not come in second place, but I think that you will all find this post very enjoyable.

Therefore, without further ado, here are my top ten stupid laws.

Bryan, In Myrtle Creek, Oregon, you cannot box with a kangaroo.  That is correct everyone.  Bryan cannot take his pet kangaroo to Myrtle Creek and engage in their favorite sport together.  I am sorry to break it to you.

In Nashville, Tennessee, you must be 18 years of age to play pinball.  Bryan, I think one of our challenges should be a game of pinball in Nashville, Tennessee.  Oh wait, I would win by default.  Do you accept?

Alaska has a strange law (shocker).  In Alaska, you may not wake up a slumbering bear to take its picture.  This begs the question, Bryan, why would anyone want to wake up a sleeping bear?  Are they suicidal or just uninformed?

There is to be no whaling in Oklahoma.  Bryan, I suppose this means that you cannot go to zoo and ride the whales, but I really have no clue why this would be illegal.  I often fancy heading to the zoo to swim with the Orcas.  Do not try that at home; the orca will die on land.

This one will tickle your own fancy Bryan.  It was proposed in 1897 that, in the state of Indiana, the exact value of Pi would be three.  It actually passed in the House, but it remains indefinitely postponed in the Senate.

Okay, so apparently it is against the law to pronounce “Arkansas” incorrectly while in the state of Arkansas.  Apparently, they secretly do not want anyone to know that it is actually pronounced “Our Kansas.”  Yeah, I said it.  We shall now all practice saying Arkansas.  Did you do it?

For everyone who drives, be aware that should you ever venture to Illinois, you must drive your car using the steering wheel.  Leave your rudders at home.  I would not want them to tempt you to turn with them.

Bryan, I actually see the point to this law, but it is still so strange.  In Kentucky, every person must take a bath at least once a year.  I bet some groups have annual gatherings to make sure that they actually fulfill this civic duty.

Outside of the United States, way off in Singapore, it is illegal to chew gum.  Bryan, are you aware that should our school suddenly transport to Singapore, with no previous knowledge of it happening, that four fifths of our school would end up in jail?

For my final law, I must admit, this one really baffles me.  In Virginia, chickens must lay any and all eggs between 8AM and 4PM.  Bryan, it only baffles me as to how they check.  Do they have surveillance cameras in every chicken coop?

Bryan, I doubt that they actually enforce the majority of these laws, but in case you ever do happen upon any of these locations, you have been warned.

Until Thursday Bryan,

Can you hear the horses, because here they come.

Gazing at Clouds

Max! You're in a different city right now. That probably means that you won't see the poll until you get back; that will be a fun surprise for you. I'm not going to call anything now, but it looks like the vast majority of people want us to do a double punishment.

It's pretty early right now. Remember when you did your first post and it was really early? That's kind of what this is like. I'm just getting a head start on my day. Lots of things are happening tomorrow.

Three, four, eight. Those numbers are significant -- specifically, they're the periods of classes we have together our senior year. I couldn't say that on Facebook, and I think you sent me a text that said that, but I just want to make sure you're aware! Three, four, eight.

Speaking of your first post (two paragraphs ago), remember when you posted a picture of clouds and saw a sideways X in it? I'm going to do the saaame thing but look for different images in these clouds:

First, I see a pig. It's about a fourth of the way from the top of the picture just to the right of the middle. See the pig?

Also, the moderately sized cloud on the right looks like the Sorting Hat, except it's kind of squished.

Aasdjlkj. I'm very tired right now. Somebody should saaave me.

Rowan Atkinson will. He has an invisible drum kit:

Who Let the Dogs Out - Baha Men

Hai guis!

My name is Zoey Lou Holtz Browning, but you can call me Zoeberg for short!

Smacky is not home right nao, so I am going to do me best to fill in for him.  Pwease exuse the typoes; it is hard to type with pause!

I am a sure u are all wondering what my bread mix is.  I am an English Springer Spaniel mixed with a Black Lab.  Okay, I am sure you will have no follow up questions, because no one ever does when they ask Smacky that question.

Wut du you all want to no about me?  If I had a voice, then I would have a lisp and talk like Trixee from Toy Story 3.

My favorite animals are squirrels because they look like me.  I hate the sun.  My fur is black, but my back left pau has a white spot because it makes me so freaking adorable!  My collar says “Zoey” on it, but I cannot rwead so I do not know what it meens.

I have a chip in my head to help Smacky to find me if I ever ran through the fence.  I am two lazy to jump the fens, no problem there.  Oh yeah!  Tell Smacky to stop building this barn, it is in my running area!  By the way, you cannot eat the chip in my head.

I have many names.  Zoe, Zee, Zoey, Zoburg, Zoebirgean, Brea, B42, Green Collar.  I was told that I have 7 siblings, but I do not remember them.  I only know of Smacky and Bo.  Bo is a dumb name though.

The breeder Smacky bought me from took baths with me and claimed that I “love water” because I have “webbed feet.”  I do not know when she asked my opinion on this tho.  I hate water.

Okay guis, it is time for me to nap on Bo’s head.

Bai!!!

The Lady in the Front Row Looks Like Ellen

Today's post comes to you in three parts!

Part One: The Poll

Max, your last poll asked the question, "Which do you prefer?" with the options of "Question Monday," "Top Ten Tuesday," and "Squirrels." I don't know how I feel about it, but the squirrels won this time. Maybe it's because you posted an adorable picture of a baby squirrel. Let's do that again.

For this week's poll -- well -- read the next part.

Part Two: Punishments?

I just got this series of texts from Max:

"Oh Bryan; guess who gets their second punishment?"

"Cause according to Jimmy's schedule I think we both do... But I feel like these schedules are school related so we should be fine lol"

 "And... We were not 'communicating with each other so we are fine :)"

The rational part of me doesn't want to do another punishment. But the adventurous side of me kind of wants to do a double punishment. Even though we really don't deserve them. Adkgjakls.

I suppose this poll really has no control over our destinies; ultimately, Max and I would agree upon what to do. But I want to seeee what people think: should Max and I do a double punishment?

Part Three: Michael Bublé!

Max, we're actually . . . not playing that song in our show. Sooorry I made you cry.

Buuut. Did you know that he did a cover of the Spiderman theme? He did. We might cut that song, but . . . here:

Haven't Met You Yet - Michael Bublé

Bryan, I am unbelievably excited to hear about your band theme for this year.

I decided that I will still have Top Ten Tuesday on Tuesday, because it would just be weird to have it on a Friday.  Anyways, I suppose I should really get started on my posts for while I am gone.  I have the topics picked out; I just have to write them.  They should be very enjoyable!

Bryan, I officially got my glasses yesterday.  My nose has never had so much weight on them in its entire time of existence!  It is somewhat annoying, but I only have to wear them when I am looking far away.  In other words, right now my glasses are off.

Here is a random Bublé song in response to your random Bublé song.  By the way, if you are not playing this song, I will cry.

Bryan, this song is making me think of people whom I have not yet met.  There are so many random people on this earth whose path I may never cross.  How will they ever know how awesome I am Bryan?  Better yet, how will I ever learn how strange they are?  I can only make fun of the same people for so long before it starts to get old.

See these people?  I do not know these people!  I suppose I can make fun of them, but what if my mocking is actually lies?  What if I actually was telling the truth about the person and not just being funny?  That would be so rude of me!

Okay Bryan, I should probably be getting ready for my secret mission.

Until Thursday,

Goodbye Bryan.

Max and I have something in common.

We both have astigmatism! It's so exciting! Max, I feel like your diagram of astigmatism is going to confuse people who are scientifically challenged. Regardless, I'm excited that you're getting glasses; you definitely deserve them.

Man, I wish I could follow that post with exciting news of my own, but nothing is quite as exciting as getting glasses. I should probably be using a thesaurus right now -- exciting, exciting, exciting.

Here's something exciting: band camp starts next week! We have a couple of short rehearsals this week, but then Monday through Friday of next week, we'll be partying all day. "Partying" in this context means marching, rehearsing, eating, and icebreakering.

Our marching show this year is called . . . I can use as many ellipses as I want without using up any words . . .

. . .

. . .

. . . A Touch of Bublé!

So that's exciting. Here's just one of the exciting songs we'll be playing this year:

Max, I'm going to tell you a secret. Just . . . occasionally, last year, I kind of wished you could have, you know, "shadowed" me in band and AP music theory. I mean, no teacher would go for that, but it was always a secret desire of mine because I'm not sure how many instruments you can actually identify. Also, it's hard to explain music theory to somebody (as you probably realize) and it would have been interesting to have you sitting in that class. Just once!

Have fun getting ready for your secret mission, Max.

I Can See Clearly Now - Johnny Nash

Bryan, I see what you mean about putting so much trust into random professionals.  After a “brief” trip to the optometrist and seven pictures of my face turning out blurry, off centered, or just plain wrong, I started to wonder why my person would not just stop talking about our school and just take a good picture!

Now Bryan, you may have noticed that Paige and I talked a lot last year during Pre-Cal or me and Cassie a lot in Chemistry.  I have an excuse!  Previously, I could never read the board because my eyes would blur at that special distance.  This created a lot of strain on my eyes.  The excuse?  Astigmatism.  Apparently, both my eyes suffer from it.

For the scientifically challenged readers, here is a nice diagram of Astigmatism.

Basically, my eyes separate light into separate vertical and horizontal beams, but my eyes struggle to see the vertical strands.  The way I took this:  I struggle to read the difference between “l” and “t,” but I can easily see the difference between “C” and “G.”

To correct my flaw and make me more perfect, I will be wearing glasses.  That is right Bryan.  I will be putting thick black frames with thin layers of “glass” to apparently help me see the vertical strands of light.  I say “glass” because it is not actually glass!  Fun fact:  My glasses have some type of lens that will not scratch or glare as bad.

Enough made up Science for today.  Bryan, because of my secret mission and having a good plan on my topics for next week, I will be taking my Top Ten Tuesday on Friday.  We can call it… well… Zenith Zehn Fritag (Top Ten Friday).

Also Bryan, I began my undertaking of Never Let Me Go.  My goal is to finish by Sunday, but I really do not see that working.  Maybe I will instead just try to be finished by August.  I did finish German!  Go me!

Until tomorrow Bryan,

Tschuss!