Facts of Life - Lazyboy

Bryan, you may have let down your promise of a weekly Question Monday, but I will continue to post my Top Ten Tuesday on every on which Tuesday that I post.

Today’s topic of discussion, as told earlier, will be my top ten general truths of life.  Bryan, these are all sentences that are so true, that it seems useless to state them, but they really make you think.

Without further ado, here goes something.

Right now, I am as old as I have ever been, but while I typed this, it made my sentence a lie.  The more depressing version of this is that right now is the youngest I will ever be in the future.  Unfortunately, I have aged about twenty seconds since I posted that last sentence.

You cannot see time.  Okay, this should be understood, but anything that I cannot see scares me.  If I cannot see time, then how will I ever know if it truly flies or if I have lost track of it?  So much pressure Bryan!

Winter is not cold; it simply lacks heat.  Bryan, nothing is cold per se, but I would have to agree that it certainly is not warm.  The sun warms up Earth, but I have never heard of an anti-sun that magically cools down the Earth.

Normal people dream every night when they sleep.  So Bryan, I suppose nothing is worse (as I believe you showed in an earlier post) than having this great dream where you were king of the world, but you forget it by the time you wake up, but I cannot actually remember ever having this feeling.

We taste with our tongue.  Bryan, if food does not look good, then it does not reach my mouth no matter how many people try to talk me into eating it.  I must disagree with this “generally accepted truth,” and I suppose call it a “half-heartedly accepted lie.”

There is a fine line between bullying and teasing.  Bryan, that statement is only true when you draw a line between the two; otherwise, there is simply a small difference.

Black is not a color.  Bryan, this has never really fazed me until a few days ago that black is not actually ever black.  I looked outside at 2:00 a.m. the other day and was amazed at how dark it was, but no matter how little I could see, I could always see something.

Had we never met, then I would not have known you the way I do now.  Sure, I may have seen you in the hall, leading to me knowing your name, but would I ever start a blog with some random person who I see in the hall on a semi-daily basis?

Of all the places I could be right now, I am right here.  Think about that Bryan; you could be in Brazil right now speaking Portuguese, and I would have never met you and this blog never would have been started.  On a more feasible side, I could be at Harvard right now and have forgotten about you.

“Twinkle, Twinkle” and the ABC’s are both sung to the same tune.  Seriously, people, grab a friend and have both of you begin to sing at the same time and you will quickly realize the coincidence.

Okay Bryan, those are some generally accepted truths, along with some not so accepted truths.  I hope you enjoyed them, and I will keep thinking of fun top ten lists.

Until tomorrow, Bryan,

Stop singing those songs, people are staring!

Mexican Hat Dance - Several Artists

Bryan, I have an idea for today’s Top Ten Tuesday.

Anyone who has seen my current Facebook profile picture would notice something about it.

I am wearing a hat.

I enjoy hats.

Hats are my idea for this Top Ten Tuesday.

Paper Bags:  They cover people’s faces, which I find funny, but you never know what was in those bags!  Bryan, paper bag masks are unsanitary and totally not hats, but I ran out of ideas.  In addition, it is very difficult to breathe while in a paper bag.

Jamaican Hat:  You know my hat with the dreadlocks coming out the back and has the multicolored top to it?  Well, it is neither comfortable nor useful.  That pretty much just makes it awful.

Baseball Caps:  How else would anyone truly root on the home team other than by decking out complete with their very own cap?  Bryan, these are particularly funny on tourists or indoors.

Jester Hats:  Something about jester hats just make me happy Bryan.  I cannot look at a hat with three things coming off with bells at the end of each of them without making me laugh.  They are as funny as the jester is.

Irish Hat:  You may remember my Irish hat that I wore on “What the Heck are You Wearing?” day last year along with my bunny mask and X-Ray goggles, Bryan.  They have orange hair on the side, which makes it more authentic, plus it is from Europe!

Panda Hat:  I want one.  Have you seen them?  I would never wear it, but just being able to say that I own a panda hat would make me the happiest person on the face of the earth.

Hunting Hats:  Bryan, I have three hunting hats despite the fact that I do not actually hunt nor will I ever, but how can you ever deny the awesomeness of me in a lime green hat?  This is how I got the nickname Kiwi in sixth grade, Bryan.  Yes, now kiwis are one of my favorite animals.  Irony.

Afro Wig:  Not technically a hat, but I write the rules on Top Ten Tuesdays!  This wig is not only large enough to where people behind me ask me to take it off when we take notes in class, it also makes my head about five times the size it already is.

Ski Hats:  The hats with the dangling poofy things that have the fake fur on the inside.  Those hats look so cool and comfortable.  Is it just me, or do I have awful taste in hats?

Newspaper Hats:  Anyone can make them.  They are magically a one-size fits all hat.  They are free.  Bryan, how can anyone not love a hat that is made of a household item and can be customized in a wide array of ways.

Until tomorrow, Bryan,

This is a senence.

When I Look to the Sky - Train

Bryan, today’s post comes to you from the letter procrastination.

Today's Saturday, which means that it's time for another Question Monday!

Bryan, by my earlier stated definition, Top Ten Tuesday will always follow a Question Monday, but I suppose all rules are meant to be broken.

Also, jazz is a type of music, to which Buble does play.

Bryan, I try to forget that he plays jazz.  His music is far too good to be jazz.

I thought . . . you were going to do a photo album. Also, I was planning on writing a song to sing. I think we should do separate projects, and then maybe you can do an interpretive dance to my project.

See, this logic does not really apply when my proposed project was a song.

Eh, I guess not. Don't go overboard.

Why would I ever go overboard on smileys?

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

All right, that's all of the Max questions. Let's move on.

That was not all of my questions: You know what else makes me sad, Bryan?

By the way Bryan, I should be starting my college applications essay right now, but this seems far more important at the moment.

Bryan, today is your sister’s birthday.

Happy Birthday Erin!

This photo is saved in my computer as “Bryan Fail.”

I feel like this post is really long already, but I actually still have about 300 more words to work with.

Do you know what this calls for Bryan?  It calls for me to randomly place here a song to which I will title my blog as the easy way out.

Until tomorrow Bryan,

Let me finish my Advanced Procrastination homework.

Welcome to the Jungle - Guns n Roses

Guess what today is, Bryan!

TOP TEN TO THE TUESDAY!

Today’s topic, you ask?  My top ten favorite animals!

Shut up word, the first sentence should not say, “Guess what Bryan is!” nor should the last sentence be un-fragmentized.  Now it is yelling at me about word order.  Dear Microsoft, SHUT UP!

Seahorse:  The males give birth.  That may be the strangest thing ever.  Once I got past that very disturbing fact, I was amazed at just how odd looking they are.  I really cannot find many pros to seahorses, but they  are just so strange that they have to make my list.

Turtles:  Bryan, the hubris of the turtle has to be its slow lifestyle.  If there were to be faster turtles, then I really do not know what could beat out an animal the size of my foot that can hide inside of its shell whenever it feels like it.

Kangaroos:  I really love kangaroos, if only because they live in Australia.  In addition, they call their young “Joeys,” which is actually a human’s name!  Bryan, how can you not love Kangaroo Jack?

Squirrels:  Ever since I saw the movie UP, squirrels have just become that much better!  Anything that has half of its size come from one body part (its tail) has to be an awesome animal in my book.

Dogs:  Let me clarify, Bryan.  When I say dogs, I mean medium sized dogs.  Too big and dogs become scary, but too little and they are just annoying.  I like a lap dog that does not squash me, but I cannot accidentally squash it.

Aye-Ayes:  Take a monkey, lemur and witch and combine them all into one super-primate.  You have an aye-aye.   They are one of the ugliest animals on the face of the planet, which makes them ever so adorable.  Don’t you just want to pet one?

Ducks:  Bryan, for one, duck is a fun word to say.  They waddle and quack.  This not only makes them annoying, but also ever so fun mock.  We all know, mockery is one of my favorite games.

Penguins:  They are a bird that cannot fly.  Need I say more?  In addition, they waddle much like a duck, but they do not quack.  The dads stand on their babies to keep them warm while the mom goes and hunts for food.

Zebras:  Zebras are long time favorites of mine because of their awesome pattern, but alas, their boringness has led to their inevitable defeat on this list.

Kiwis:  I do not mean the fruit, Bryan.  Native to New Zealand, kiwis are short, plump birds that are the most awesome things in existence.

Until tomorrow, Bryan.

Want to go to the petting zoo?

Dog Days are Over - Florence and the Machine

Howdy, Bryan, I am still on my secret mission, but I decided that I could still effectively type a Top Ten Tuesday.  Therefore, the dog days are over.  I know that this did not come in second place, but I think that you will all find this post very enjoyable.

Therefore, without further ado, here are my top ten stupid laws.

Bryan, In Myrtle Creek, Oregon, you cannot box with a kangaroo.  That is correct everyone.  Bryan cannot take his pet kangaroo to Myrtle Creek and engage in their favorite sport together.  I am sorry to break it to you.

In Nashville, Tennessee, you must be 18 years of age to play pinball.  Bryan, I think one of our challenges should be a game of pinball in Nashville, Tennessee.  Oh wait, I would win by default.  Do you accept?

Alaska has a strange law (shocker).  In Alaska, you may not wake up a slumbering bear to take its picture.  This begs the question, Bryan, why would anyone want to wake up a sleeping bear?  Are they suicidal or just uninformed?

There is to be no whaling in Oklahoma.  Bryan, I suppose this means that you cannot go to zoo and ride the whales, but I really have no clue why this would be illegal.  I often fancy heading to the zoo to swim with the Orcas.  Do not try that at home; the orca will die on land.

This one will tickle your own fancy Bryan.  It was proposed in 1897 that, in the state of Indiana, the exact value of Pi would be three.  It actually passed in the House, but it remains indefinitely postponed in the Senate.

Okay, so apparently it is against the law to pronounce “Arkansas” incorrectly while in the state of Arkansas.  Apparently, they secretly do not want anyone to know that it is actually pronounced “Our Kansas.”  Yeah, I said it.  We shall now all practice saying Arkansas.  Did you do it?

For everyone who drives, be aware that should you ever venture to Illinois, you must drive your car using the steering wheel.  Leave your rudders at home.  I would not want them to tempt you to turn with them.

Bryan, I actually see the point to this law, but it is still so strange.  In Kentucky, every person must take a bath at least once a year.  I bet some groups have annual gatherings to make sure that they actually fulfill this civic duty.

Outside of the United States, way off in Singapore, it is illegal to chew gum.  Bryan, are you aware that should our school suddenly transport to Singapore, with no previous knowledge of it happening, that four fifths of our school would end up in jail?

For my final law, I must admit, this one really baffles me.  In Virginia, chickens must lay any and all eggs between 8AM and 4PM.  Bryan, it only baffles me as to how they check.  Do they have surveillance cameras in every chicken coop?

Bryan, I doubt that they actually enforce the majority of these laws, but in case you ever do happen upon any of these locations, you have been warned.

Until Thursday Bryan,

Can you hear the horses, because here they come.

Haven't Met You Yet - Michael Bublé

Bryan, I am unbelievably excited to hear about your band theme for this year.

I decided that I will still have Top Ten Tuesday on Tuesday, because it would just be weird to have it on a Friday.  Anyways, I suppose I should really get started on my posts for while I am gone.  I have the topics picked out; I just have to write them.  They should be very enjoyable!

Bryan, I officially got my glasses yesterday.  My nose has never had so much weight on them in its entire time of existence!  It is somewhat annoying, but I only have to wear them when I am looking far away.  In other words, right now my glasses are off.

Here is a random Bublé song in response to your random Bublé song.  By the way, if you are not playing this song, I will cry.

Bryan, this song is making me think of people whom I have not yet met.  There are so many random people on this earth whose path I may never cross.  How will they ever know how awesome I am Bryan?  Better yet, how will I ever learn how strange they are?  I can only make fun of the same people for so long before it starts to get old.

See these people?  I do not know these people!  I suppose I can make fun of them, but what if my mocking is actually lies?  What if I actually was telling the truth about the person and not just being funny?  That would be so rude of me!

Okay Bryan, I should probably be getting ready for my secret mission.

Until Thursday,

Goodbye Bryan.