Come Together - Beatles

Bryan, we have a predicament.

This morning, I wake up to see two texts from Bryan.

Mm, let me be honest about that – your comment was not loaded on my computer when I posted that.  I was very conscious of not wanting another punishment

, and I thought I was first. *nodnod*

For those of you who are as I was when I received this text, his hysteria roots from this picture.

Now Bryan, I would ordinarily agree with you judging by the times, but the fact that you even mentioned me makes me suspicious.  We talked earlier and I said that I would not give you another punishment, but that obviously does not mean that you are off the hook.

Bryan, in addition to your current song that you are writing, I want you to be wearing a strange attire when you are recording it.  I think that this is a fair addition to your current punishment under the given circumstances.

I must point out that you have now broken three rules, while I have yet to break any.

This post is too serious; I must break it up with a song!

Do you watch

Anyways, I hope you enjoy PopLyfe as much as I do!

Until tomorrow, Bryan,

I should probably start on that poster!

The Math - Hilary Duff

Hallo Bryan,

I hope that all is going well in the world of punishments.

Today, I really want to go over some of our blog’s statistics.

Here goes nothing.

• 7249 views have been looked upon our page all time.
• 7,048 views were made from the U.S.
• 2,651 views were made in June, making it our most popular month.
• 488 views were made on an iPod.
• 277 comments have been made.
• 262 people viewed us after a link on Facebook.
• 235 people found us through Google.
• 189 page views have already came in September.
• 187 views were made on mobile Safari.
• 147 views have been made on our original post with the rules.
• 101 posts have been posted on this blog.
• 78 of our views are from Germany.
• 68 views were made on Bryan’s bonus, punishment post.
• 60 people are currently creeping on us.
• 45 views were made on Max’s punishment post.
• 35 views were made on an iPad.
• 19 views come from over the sea in Ireland.
• 13 comments were made on Bryan’s post “Four apples; awesome pants” making it the most commented upon post.
• 3 punishments have been issued.
• 2 punishments have been completed.
• 1 day Bryan forgot to post.
• 0 comments have been marked as spam.

That is a quick look at some of the statistics, which I found interesting.

I still have 400 words to play around with Bryan, so I will continue this post after a quick break.

Okay, I am back.

Bryan, your poll confuses me.  Why would anyone in the right mind want bacon in their Frappuccino?  Actually, why would anyone want any meat in a drink at all?

Rant over.

I still have just under 200 words to work with so I will give you all a sneak peak on my upcoming Top Ten Tuesday.

Bryan, I have been tossing around ideas, but I think I will post about some general facts of life I have learned throughout my life.

They will be just blatantly obvious facts that hold a general truth.  They are like paradoxes, but they are not.

Until tomorrow Bryan,

I am always good to the last drop.

Wake Me up When September Ends - Green Day

Yes, Bryan,

Fall is here.  A fall, is here.  Time for sneezing and time for cheer.

Well, you catch my drift.

Today marks my first post in September and we are already up to 7150 page views, not to mention that we have our 100^th post tomorrow, which is a huge leap for us.  We should probably hope that nothing happens after 100 posts on our blog to make it funky.

It’s Friday, which for the time being means that I will post numerous media resources in an effort to make my blogging quick to compensate for my lack of time.

Here is my first one.  Bryan, not only do they sing to my name, but they also sing a song that we will be using for our religion project.

Okay, so many people have been wondering what Bryan’s punishment will be, including me.  After long meditation and contemplation, I have determined the optimal punishment that is neither too difficult nor too torturous.

Bryan, you will be glorifying all the ways in which I am better than you to the tune of Animal by Neon Trees.  Please be aware that if you just change a few words, then I will just make you do another song, so do it right the first time!  Lastly, I do give you permission to change parts of the music part so long as you keep the song recognizable.

Here is the song in case you have not heard it recently.

Until tomorrow,

Sing purdy, Bryan!

Not Afraid - Eminem

First Google Docs; now Blogger – the entire Google planet is being revamped, Bryan!

Speaking of revamping, I have been thinking about songs for you to revamp all about me.  I am thinking Forget You by Cee Lo Green.  I don’t know though, maybe some Adele would be funnier.  Animal by Neon Trees could also be quite humorous for me.  So many options, Bryan!  You should definitely just take every Friday off so you can rewrite songs in a variety of genres (okay, by variety I only mean ones that make you look funny) and on a variety of subjects (mostly me, but sometimes maybe about bumble bees or poison ivy to spice it up?).

Long paragraph.

The first thing I noticed when I saw the new Blogger was how bright the background is.  Whichever Google employee decided that white pearl would make a nice background color was sadly mistaken.

This would have been my reaction had someone said to me, “Let’s make the background white.  It’s so eye catching and all the rage!”

Oh, Bryan, how I miss that show.  My brother and I used to love that show.  We even got to the point that we recorded every episode in case it was worth keeping.

Microsoft needs to shut up with the green lines.  I realize that I use fragments, contractions and passive voice – there is no reason to tell me!  Bryan, Microsoft didn’t point out that I had fractions instead of fragments.  Proofreading for the win.  That was a fragment.  Microsoft was sure that I knew!

I really am contemplating a nap, so here is a song.

Until tomorrow Bryan,

The upcoming newspaper looks so good!

The Rant Continues

My first order of business is to empathize with Max. Allergies are not particularly fun. They're not the worst thing in the world -- I would take allergies over a cold any day -- but they're just horribly inconvenient.

To prove my point, I'm going to list all of the things that I wouldn't have done today if it hadn't been for my allergies:

• First, I checked weather.com to see that the pollen count was extremely high (as it has been pretty much every day recently), and then I spend a few seconds being disappointed about that.
• I had to take my allergy medicine, which not only takes a few seconds out of every morning but also takes a few cents out of my family's budget.
• I left for school five or ten minutes later than I usually would due to allergy issues.
• I would estimate that I used between fifteen and twenty tissues in all today.
• After I did my homework for a couple hours secluded in my room where pollen should not be present, I sneezed a few times and had to blow my nose. That was the most recent tissue.
• I'm blogging about my allergies.

The worst part is that allergies don't. Make. Any. Sense.

Max, I'll try to remember to use sunscreen during allergy season.

It looks like my punishment is going to be rewriting song lyrics to praising-Max-lyrics and then performing that song for Max, but it's not official yet and I don't know if Max is going to wait for the poll to close.

But speaking of doing things with songs, I want to do something. Vague statements are vague. If I would arrange any song for pep band to play, what should it be? I've wanted to do this for a long time. Perhaps a popular song on the radio? Or "Never Gonna Give You Up"? Maybe "Shake-a-Booty"? Maxandotherpeople, I want suggestions.

Until next time, Max: use hanisizer/hanitizer¹ after you blow your nose.

¹"Hand sanitizer" either way, depending on your little kid dialect.

Piano Man - Billy Joel

Alright Bryan, it sounds like you will be writing me a song to the tune of some catchy song.  I will figure that out at a later time.

If he is to write a song, he should have to compose the music himself rather than swapping lyrics out...i feel that would be more challenging for him.

Matthew, I have two comments in response to your comment:

• Never do that thing where you do not capitalize the word “I.
• He would not be able merely to change the lyrics.  When I say rewrite a song, I mean completely new.  If it were to the tune of Yankee Doodle, then I would not accept a song portraying how dandy I am.

Also, to the people making punishment suggestions, Max isn't going to make me do anything illegal or anything with long-term side effects.

Bryan, let me make a few comments on this statement:

• Did I mention something about how your hubris is that you make assumptions?  *Checks old post* Yes, I did.  Just though that you should know that I stick to this claim.
• If you really had read the first post’s rules and regulations, then you would know that as long as the punishment does not provoke bloodshed, there is no limit to the punishments I give you.
• Do not worry though Bryan, I would never do something like that.
• You used a contraction and started the sentence with “Also.”  Microsoft Word is not happy right now.

Now Bryan, I did not sit down at this laptop to type this blog post about you though.

No, I came here to talk about my allergies and me.

Today in German, I was the only person who could validly say that I felt sick.  Me and allergies?  See Bryan, we do not really get along all that well.  They hit me like a truck for one day every year (yesterday), but then they do not actually leave for good until late October!  How annoying is that?

Oh, and do not forget the one to two week span in April, which also gives me an annoying cough.  Yes Bryan, prom is very fun when you have allergies.

Here is a word of advice to everyone who suffers from pale skin or allergies.  Do not get sunburn during allergy season! Do not do it!  You know what feels good during allergy season?  A nice warm shower to help relieve your sinuses.  You know what does not sound good while you are sun burnt?  A nice warm shower further burning your skin.

Well Bryan, that is all of the genius advice I can give for today.

Until tomorrow,

Did anyone else notice I reused that blog title?