Thursday, September 1, 2011

Study Tips from Bryan

I'm actually not going to give you any study tips. Depending on how you view this post, I'm either going to give you one or zero pieces of advice. I'll get to that in a moment.

First of all, Max, my punishment (fragment). If you're going to give me a punishment, you should just give me a punishment. If you wait forever, then our graduation is going to happen eventually, and we won't even be blogging anymore by the time you give me a punishment. You knooow what you want to do, and I would like to start working on it as soon as possible. I'm just that kind of person.

Oh, let's increase the number of study tips in this post by one -- work on everything as soon as you possibly can. Then, when it's ten o' clock, you can go to sleep! Or in my case, you can get on the Internet and blog to a nerdy kid with glasses. Ah. I should work on my insults -- that one was not very effective.

Second of all, Max, Blogger's status (fragment). It's weird, and I don't think I like it. I'm usually a pretty adaptable person, but this seems like a common sense issue. The old interface is multicolored shows you everything you need to see without scrolling anywhere, and the new one is three colors on the brightest background in the world and everything's off center.

Oh, let's increase the number of study tips in this post by one again -- be adaptable. Then, when somebody throws you for a loop in the real world, you'll be prepared. You'll be, like, "Nice try, but on a homework assignment fifteen years ago, I had to answer a trick question, and now I'm prepared for anything!" This is speaking from experience, of course.

My third piece of advice which isn't really advice is Tom Lehrer.

I thoroughly studied for tomorrow's literary terms quiz. I'm ready to provide an example of anything. Why? Tom Lehrer. You could steal these, but it would be extremely lame, and the proof is right here. Busted.

Oxymoron: a figure of speech that combines opposite or contradictory terms in a brief phrase. "Your heart is hard as stone or mahogany; that's why I'm in such exquisite agony" (Tom Lehrer, The Masochism Tango).

Quatrain: a poem consisting of four lines, or four lines of a poem that can be considered a unit. "A friend of mine in a B-29 / Dropped another load for luck. / As he flew away, he was heard to say, / A hubba-hubba-hubba, yuk yuk!" (Tom Lehrer's favorite wartime quatrain which he feels reveals that war brings out the best in people).

Satire: a type of writing that ridicules the shortcomings of people or institutions in an attempt to bring about change. "Sleep, baby, sleep. In peace may you slumber. No danger lurks your sleep to encumber. We've got the missiles -- peace to determine -- and one of the fingers on the button will be German" (Tom Lehrer, MLF Lullaby).

Need I say more?

Max, until next time,
You've been fretting about that newspaper for weeks!


  1. I am going to click "Dashboard" and see if I better understand the part about the brightest colors in the world.

  2. Hey

    I'm searching for the song where he mentions his favourite quatrain, but I can't find it. I value his introductions and I'd really like it if you could help.