Ready, TheOtherBryan?

"Window Washer Walter has a mass of 80 kilograms is washing a window that is 24 meters up the side of a building. The ladder upon which he stands is 25 meters long, and the ladder forms a right triangle with the side of the building. Assume that the top of the ladder meets the bottom of the window."

Right, so . . . there's a right triangle. Let me make a quick sketch:

Before you ask me any questions, I have a question of my own. Why is Window Washer Walter (along with all of his math problem friends) using a ladder he has to lean against a building? There are step ladders he could use that would be much less precarious.

"Suddenly, the bottom of the ladder begins to slide away from the building at a rate of 1 meter/sec."

Nope, that's not what happens. You're saying that it suddenly happened so you can prevent a lawsuit. There's a little kid under the ladder who slips on some window washer fluid and falls into the ladder. Then, the ladder moves a constant rate of 1 m/s for one second. That makes a nice line.

a) "What is Window Washer Walter's velocity after three seconds have passed?"

By the time three seconds have passed, Window Washer Walter is rushing down the ladder to help the kid. He's pretty fast, so he can climb down his ladder at about 1 m/s still. So that's my answer.

b) "What is Window Washer Walter's velocity when he reaches the ground?"

Zero. The police show up by the time Walter gets to the bottom, and they tell him to freeze, so he does. They examine Bernard for injuries, and thankfully, he's okay. His name is Bernard, by the way. They ask him why he was under the ladder, and Bernard says that he was running to get a ball that his friend kicked too far.

c) "Assuming that Window Washer Walter suffers a 90% energy loss after hitting the ground, how high will he bounce? Show all work."

This is not a time for bouncing. Walter might get arrested.

Luckily, Bernard's parents don't sue.

Also, to the people making punishment suggestions, Max isn't going to make me do anything illegal or anything with long-term side effects. Also, I really think it would be more enjoyable for everyone and harder for me if I had to write a song to a tune of Max's choice rather than a new tune.

My last punishment fell right next to Max's birthday. I wonder if this punishment is a birthday present for anyone. We'll say it's a present for Erin and Abby because it's going to fall right between their birthdays. Happy Birthday!

Until next time, Max: "In my defense, I believe assault should be legal if the person is a jerk." -Leslie Knope

Transfer - Five for Fighting

Okay Bryan.

Today’s blog comes to your from the letter rhetorical questions.

This is like Question Monday, but I ask myself questions (which definitely are not rhetorical questions).

First question:  Why did I ever think that this was a fun feature?

Really Bryan, I really do not know…

Second Question:  Why does my iPod have dust and 25 songs on it?

Good question Max!

You see Max, you are a very lazy person who enjoys procrastination.  Also, you see the greatness in what it is and do not look for amateurs.  This is why you have only Five for Fighting and Shinedown on your iPod.

Last Question:  Why is this blog so short?

Another fantastic question Max!  This blog is short because you have procrastinated memorizing 36 literary terms for the quiz tomorrow and really need to start.

Here is another procrastination video!

So Bryan, until tomorrow.

Procrastinators unite… but not now.

P.S. Brittan is our new follower!

When I Look to the Sky - Train

Bryan, today’s post comes to you from the letter procrastination.

Today's Saturday, which means that it's time for another Question Monday!

Bryan, by my earlier stated definition, Top Ten Tuesday will always follow a Question Monday, but I suppose all rules are meant to be broken.

Also, jazz is a type of music, to which Buble does play.

Bryan, I try to forget that he plays jazz.  His music is far too good to be jazz.

I thought . . . you were going to do a photo album. Also, I was planning on writing a song to sing. I think we should do separate projects, and then maybe you can do an interpretive dance to my project.

See, this logic does not really apply when my proposed project was a song.

Eh, I guess not. Don't go overboard.

Why would I ever go overboard on smileys?

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

All right, that's all of the Max questions. Let's move on.

That was not all of my questions: You know what else makes me sad, Bryan?

By the way Bryan, I should be starting my college applications essay right now, but this seems far more important at the moment.

Bryan, today is your sister’s birthday.

Happy Birthday Erin!

This photo is saved in my computer as “Bryan Fail.”

I feel like this post is really long already, but I actually still have about 300 more words to work with.

Do you know what this calls for Bryan?  It calls for me to randomly place here a song to which I will title my blog as the easy way out.

Until tomorrow Bryan,

Let me finish my Advanced Procrastination homework.

Question Monday on Saturday

Today, when I wasn't sure what I was going to blog about, I decided to take a nap and then blog about my dreams.  I woke up from my nap, remembered my dreams, stood up, and forgot them.  The only thing I remember was that Mr. Verhiley was there, but just saying that wouldn't be a very substantial post.

A presumably unreliable website says that seeing your teacher in a dream suggests a desire for guidance.

Today's Saturday, which means that it's time for another Question Monday!

"Why is it called drum major?"

I have no idea. Sometimes when I tell somebody that I'm a drum major, they say something like, "Oh! I've always wanted to learn how to play the drums." And I have to be like, "Actually, I don't play drums -- I command the band. I don't even think the drumline likes me very much."

"Okay, so tonight the band unleashes their music with “A Touch of Buble” or something to that jazz. See what I did there? It is funny because Jazz is a type of music, to which Buble does not play."

I think I see what you did there. Also, jazz is a type of music, to which Buble does play.

"Will you do your German project with me?"

I thought . . . you were going to do a photo album. Also, I was planning on writing a song to sing. I think we should do separate projects, and then maybe you can do an interpretive dance to my project.

"Do smileys count as words?"

Eh, I guess not. Don't go overboard.

All right, that's all of the Max questions. Let's move on.

"If you had a pony, what would you name it?"

Horse, for irony's sake. Except for its butt -- I would name its butt "Trumpet."

"Would you rather have a unicorn or a Pegasus?"

A Pegasus. Like Hank Green said, "You can ride a unicorn and it’s just a fricking horse. It’s like, would you rather have a horse or a flying horse?"

Until tomorrow, Max,
Have a great apple and sandwich!

It All Makes Sense at the End - Hank Green

Bryan!  I forgot to tell you something today!

I would tell you on your Facebook wall, but, you know…

 

Okay, here it goes!

Good luck tonight with your walking in a straight line with your legs moving at the same time as the other person and then climbing up a ladder and pointing at people skills, which you call “drum majoring.”

Why is it called drum major?  By the way, Bryan, I have set you up with a plethora of stock questions to answer on your upcoming Question Monday.

Okay, so tonight the band unleashes their music with “A Touch of Buble” or something to that jazz.  See what I did there?  It is funny because Jazz is a type of music, to which Buble does not play.  Yes, Bryan, I am aware that this is not how you spell Buble, but I do not want to find an accented “e.”

Oh!  Another update on the blog seems in order!

Bryan, we have been foolishly miscounting our foreign friends!  You see, Bryan, if you view our weekly viewers, then you will notice we have one Taiwanese view this week.  Now, Bryan, go view our all time audience and you will notice a lack of Taiwan on the list.  (Thailand ≠ Taiwan)  The list appears to stop at approximately ten countries and does not have the option to view all of the audiences.

This makes me sad.

You know what else makes me sad, Bryan?  We can see what key words people can search into Google.com that seemingly direct them to our blog.

Bryan, astigmatism is the most commonly searched word to bring them here.

In addition, Bryan, as of now, our view count does not seem to be as high as neither June nor July, which is quite saddening.

Bryan, I have a question for you and this is very, very important.

Will you do your German project with me?  I want to do a song, but cannot play the piano!

Do smileys count as words?  I will say no! (I just added smileys to my dictionary)

Bryan, we should translate this song to German and video record it.  We can auto-tune you if you really would rather that.

Until tomorrow Bryan,

Pirates scare me.

Question Monday II

I'm going to start this Question Monday with a couple of Max's questions.

"Do you remember when you mocked me because I had to edit my post earlier in our blogs because I forgot to include the poll results?"

TPA-Flashback!

"This will be the second Saturday of TPA in which the poster actually remembers to start a new poll without editing his post!"

Yes, I do remember that. Except I was also mocking myself, another person who usually forgets to include poll results.

"I think I know how you feel when people go all Harry Potter on you."
"How so?"

See, you just wrote a post about Spyro: Ripto's Rage, which is foreign to most of us. When I write about Harry Potter, it's foreign to you! Unfortunately for you, the final movie is coming out in less than four days, and you're going to be hearing about it.

"Who won this year's DCI competition, out of curiosity?"

Hahaha. I don't remember.

Carolina Crown got second, and I know that because they were our "host team" or something. Also, as I already said, Madison Scouts got third, so I was really excited.

If I had to guess, I think it was the Blue Stars.

"Due process? Come on, the real impact of the 14th Amendment was definitely the idea of selective incorporation. Silly Bryan."

Not really a question, but I can do this.

I concede that due process is the topic of just one of the clauses of the Fourteenth Amendment. However, I wasn't necessarily going for the largest impact of the amendment. You could just as easily have said, "Come on, the main purpose of the 14th Amendment was black citizenship."

I maintain that there is no single correct way to celebrate the Fourteenth Amendment. I think we can all agree that it's a good one overall.

"What do you do to fall asleep when you realize that just laying there isn't working?"

First, I'll tell you what I do not do: count sheep. I find that thinking too much is the main obstacle to falling asleep, and counting makes me think of things.

Usually I just try to imagine an infinite area of nothing. Suspension in a pool of space.

"(If it doesn't bother Max), what do you think your Animagus form would be? And/or, what about your patronus?"

I would probably take the McGonagall route and transform into a cat. They're lovable and apathetic!

As for my patronus, it's hard to say, really. Maybe some kind of a bird. I guess you don't really find out until you cast the spell.

Sorry, Max. Harry Potter is a very important topic this week. Most of our followers are fans of the series, I would say, and I strongly recommend you to join us!

Also, are you going to read a book with me? I just finished The Martian Chronicles, so probably not that one.

We are the Champions - Queen

Good afternoon Bryan,

In response to your lovely post yesterday, my post will come in one part!

First, the following is my question for you for Question Mondee:  Do you remember when you mocked me because I had to edit my post earlier in our blogs because I forgot to include the poll results?

Bryan and followers, the votes are (finally) in and have been carefully counted and recounted!  The results show that you equally want a Top Ten Tuesday on my favorite music artists as well as on things I do not want to blog about.  This Tuesday…

…you will all learn about the Top Ten things that I will not ever be blogging about (unless Bryan uses this as a source of punishment).

Okay, now I would like to explain why my heading is such a victorious song.  Bryan and followers, after four days and many hours of hard work, I successfully completed Spyro: Ripto’s Rage with a 100% completion status.  This has taught me a plethora of life lessons that I would like to share with you all.  Note:  These will make way more sense to people who have ever partaken in a Spyro themed game.

• Killing a sheep, frog, or starfish will give you more life, and who does not love having more lives!
• When dressed in a space suit, cows gain the ability to shoot lasers out their ears.
• After beating the game, the closing cinematic was definitely not worth it.
• You do not have to hold down L1, R1, L2 and R2 to have Sparx point you to the nearest gem to actually find all the gems.  It is much easier to find a building and just run around it.
• Green guys say hey stupid.
• Finding Hunter on a level is just a slap in the face.  You will soon be faced with race.  I hope that you keep pace.
• Swimming and flying levels are really hard.
• Games get easier after you get older.
• Slow and steady wins the race, unless you are on a level with Hunter.
• Apparently NPC’s have not learned that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line (unless you take the idiotic stance that an arc is shorter).
• Insomniac had a reason for naming their company that.

I hope that these lessons will teach everyone something!

Until tomorrow Bryan,

I start on Crash Team Racing.

Question Monday

Yes, yes it is bad that you had to check to see if "while" was a verb kicker.

Today is Question Monday, so I'll be answering questions that people (mostly Abby) asked me.

"What is a “Muggle,” because that is definitely what I voted, but I have a feeling it means like… hobo? Okay, and also, tell me who the rest of them are, too, because I kind of want to know!"

I'm just going to get this over with. A muggle is a non-magical person; there are a few muggle characters in Harry Potter, but obviously, the central characters are wizards and witches. When Harry and his friends went to Hogwarts for their first year, the Sorting Hat placed them into one of four houses. (I'm in Slytherin.) By the way, the Sorting Hat can sing:

"You might belong in Gryffindor,
Where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve, and chivalry
Set Gryffindors apart; 

You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true
And unafraid of toil; 

Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
if you've a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind; 

Or perhaps in Slytherin
You'll make your real friends,
Those cunning folks use any means
To achieve their ends."

 "What's your favorite color?"

Purple. I really appreciate most of the colors, though, with the exception of only a few (like ochre).

"If you looked into the Mirror of Erised, what do you suspect you'd see?"

It's hard to say what my heart's deepest, most desperate desire is. I wish I could say that it was something like a more just and accepting world, but I feel like the Mirror is a little bit more about our urgent personal dreams. Another problem with the Mirror is that for the most part, it's usually based on an idealistic future with a few exceptions of people seeing an idealistic present, and I like to be content with both happiness and tribulation in the world.

I haven't answered the question yet.

Honestly, I think what I most desire is less specific than money, a relationship, a huge family, or complete social acceptance -- whether or not those things are a part of my future doesn't matter to me as long as I can continue a life of learning from other people and of appreciating the awesome things in the world.

That's not the answer you wanted, is it? 

"Do you pronounce the 't' in 'often'?"

No, that's absurd! (I've been watching A Very Potter Musical -- can you tell?)

"TEN TIMES!?"

On our second (and final) day in the park, we stayed from opening until closing, with a small break from Harry Potter around lunchtime to see other parks. So the insane amount of time we spent there combined with our deft waiting-in-line skills allowed us to ride eight times that day.

Oh, would you look at that? I was going to answer Bryan's physics question, but I think I've run out of space in this post. Maybe I'll give it a whack in a few years or so. Meanwhile, anyone else is welcome to try it out.

And Max, you'll probably notice throughout the week that I'm generating a small stockpile of posts -- just three or four of them because I'll be at Ball State all of next week without Internet access.