Sing a Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy Song - Dummi Bears

Good News, Bryan!

Today, instead of gloating about your upcoming punishment for not posting, I have decided that I would discuss and analyze some of my favorite quotes.

Oh, but in case you forgot, I have yet to break a rule, while you have broken two thus far.

Without further ado, my three favorite quotes:

“Max, trust me, there will come a day when you or I will become wrapped up in senior life and just forget to post.  There will be punishments.”

Bryan Rainey said this dandy quote.

Bryan, long ago in the month of May, I called that I would not be a rule breaker, but that you would.  I would have to applaud you for your acceptance to failure so long ago though.

“So here I am now. I was so sure that you were going to be the first TPA blogger to be punished.”

Bryan Rainey said this on June 17, 2011, in his post.

Here is my analysis.  This quote was funny then, because so many people thought that I would be first, but here we are, with you receiving both of the punishment for breaking rules thus far.  Irony.

My last quote is as follows:

“Max, I will never forget to blog.”

Bryan Rainey said this ironic quote on August 25, 2011.

Bryan, literally less than a week ago I approached you at your locker before school and expressed my amazement that you posted since you had not even started a post when I went to sleep.  This was your response.

Bryan, I am not shocked that you forgot.  Honestly, Friday posts are just unfair.  Last Friday, I had 20 minutes to write my post after factoring in the time it would take to find something pirate looking to wear to our football game.

Now for something less tense, the poll results.

It would appear as though people enjoy Pegasus (11 votes) over a unicorn (7 votes).  Bryan, I voted for unicorns.  Your assumption that a Pegasus is just a flying unicorn seems to show your hubris.  You assumed that the Vlogbrothers were up on their exotic horse breeds, but they are not.

Unicorns can dip their horn in a polluted river and make it clean.

I have not decided my poll yet, but you can be sure that this poll will actually make sense.

Now about your punishment, Bryan.  I have not figured it out for sure yet, but I have some ideas.  I suppose you will want to know my ideas, right?

• Get 50 meters on QWOP and video it.
• Compose a song, complete with lyrics depicting all the ways I am better than you are, to the tune of some song of my choice; I am thinking Brittany Spears.
• Cut an entire pizza at your normal Chicago’s Pizza using only the supplied fork.
• Find all of my grammar errors in a future blog of mine.
• Write a 300 word blog in German with a translation in English.

So Bryan, I do not want the punishment to be something terrible, because I am merciful, unlike you, but I do know that if I ever should break a rule, that you will not return the favor.

Here is a cat.

Until tomorrow Bryan,

Be afraid, be very afraid.

We are Family - Sister Sledge

Bryan, I do not know where to start with this blog post.

Hello, Bryan.

No, that does not sound right.

Guten Tag.

No, still not good enough.

Howdy partner!

Yes, let’s go with that.

Bryan, I see why you love contractions.  Yesterday, your post was about 635 words, but contractions took you down to 627 words with other media.

Today, I will tell you all the wondrous things I learned at school.

1. Bryan, this first one is an assumption.  When you find a random quarter at the bottom of your locker at the start of the year, it means either that the entire year can only go downhill or that I am in for a great year.  For the sake of myself, I am going to hope that it is the latter of the two.
2. I have forgotten all of the German that I had known.
3. Only at Roncalli can a Furby completely destroy the attention span of seniors.
4. Okay, not at school, but I just learned that this pasta butter is really gross tasting and kind of makes me want to throw up, but because my dad went through the trouble to make it, I feel obligated to eat it.
5. My locker is only directly across from yours if you are in a parallel universe and have no sense of a straight line.
6. I have a new locker buddy from Tennessee.  I finally found out her name, Jennifer.
7. Microsoft has never had a locker buddy, but it apparently thinks that people should have locker friends.  Spell check is not very good.
8. The first Rebel Review comes out September 9^th, last year the first was an entire two weeks later and we had more people on the staff.  The purpose of this is that I am somewhat nervous.
9. My schedule is awful in terms of room assignments, but I love every class, teacher and classmate with which I will share my senior year.
10. The hallways look very funny when there are no signs on any of the lockers.
11. Today did not appear to be a sun-splashed day.
12. Sun-splashed is apparently hyphenated, but I am not so sure I can trust spell check anymore.
13. Driving to school may sound like fun on paper, but it is very stressful.
14. Reverse is not my friend.
15. Windshield wipers are very useful when you cannot figure out how to defog your window.
16. I look Asian in photos now that I have glasses.
17. Watering a carpet is only good if you make sure that there are no cracks in the floor that could lead to water damage in the room directly beneath it.
18. I am very excited for senior year.

Until Wednesday, Bryan,

I have my first German project in mind; it is a photo album.

All Summer Long - Kid Rock

Dear Bryan,

Having finished all of my AP Summer work, I have decided that today deserves a poem.

Here goes nothing:

There once was a lad from Indiana.

He never wore a bandana.

He did all his work.

It made him smirk.

Then he went and ate a banana.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

Most poems rhyme,

But this one doesn’t.

Here goes a haiku:

My name is Bryan.

I am not intellectual.

This has six syllables.

And an acrostic:

B :  Backwards

R :  Rebellious

Y :  Youthful

A :  Analytical

N :  Nonsensical

R :  Reliable-ish

A :  Annoying

I :  Incompetent

N :  Nonagon

E :  Exasperating

Y :  Yellow

Yes, Bryan, I did just call you Jaundiced and a bunch of other big words to prove I have a vocabulary beyond “awesome.”

...and a page break?

Welcome to the Jungle - Guns n Roses

Guess what today is, Bryan!

TOP TEN TO THE TUESDAY!

Today’s topic, you ask?  My top ten favorite animals!

Shut up word, the first sentence should not say, “Guess what Bryan is!” nor should the last sentence be un-fragmentized.  Now it is yelling at me about word order.  Dear Microsoft, SHUT UP!

Seahorse:  The males give birth.  That may be the strangest thing ever.  Once I got past that very disturbing fact, I was amazed at just how odd looking they are.  I really cannot find many pros to seahorses, but they  are just so strange that they have to make my list.

Turtles:  Bryan, the hubris of the turtle has to be its slow lifestyle.  If there were to be faster turtles, then I really do not know what could beat out an animal the size of my foot that can hide inside of its shell whenever it feels like it.

Kangaroos:  I really love kangaroos, if only because they live in Australia.  In addition, they call their young “Joeys,” which is actually a human’s name!  Bryan, how can you not love Kangaroo Jack?

Squirrels:  Ever since I saw the movie UP, squirrels have just become that much better!  Anything that has half of its size come from one body part (its tail) has to be an awesome animal in my book.

Dogs:  Let me clarify, Bryan.  When I say dogs, I mean medium sized dogs.  Too big and dogs become scary, but too little and they are just annoying.  I like a lap dog that does not squash me, but I cannot accidentally squash it.

Aye-Ayes:  Take a monkey, lemur and witch and combine them all into one super-primate.  You have an aye-aye.   They are one of the ugliest animals on the face of the planet, which makes them ever so adorable.  Don’t you just want to pet one?

Ducks:  Bryan, for one, duck is a fun word to say.  They waddle and quack.  This not only makes them annoying, but also ever so fun mock.  We all know, mockery is one of my favorite games.

Penguins:  They are a bird that cannot fly.  Need I say more?  In addition, they waddle much like a duck, but they do not quack.  The dads stand on their babies to keep them warm while the mom goes and hunts for food.

Zebras:  Zebras are long time favorites of mine because of their awesome pattern, but alas, their boringness has led to their inevitable defeat on this list.

Kiwis:  I do not mean the fruit, Bryan.  Native to New Zealand, kiwis are short, plump birds that are the most awesome things in existence.

Until tomorrow, Bryan.

Want to go to the petting zoo?

The Double Punishment Idea

Ooh, me! I want to try one!

I've kept Max in enough suspense, so here's what I think we should do if we do a double punishment (which the majority of people voted for -- including me, of which I don't think Max is aware).

We should do a book report. Doing a book report first requires reading a book, which Max would already consider a punishment (unless . . . we could do something like Brave New World in your pants, but that's not quite as exciting).

Then, we could do any number of things. We could . . .

• Act out our favorite parts.
• Act out our favorite parts . . . with sock puppets.
• Sing songs about our favorite parts.
• Sing songs about our favorite parts . . . with sock puppets.

That's all I can think of; I'm open to more suggestions.

Now, I know that I have summer homework to do, and I've only read one chapter of Never Let Me Go and haven't started my second round of German blogs, but I gave myself a new goal today.

I'm working on completing all of the puzzles in today's issue of the Indianapolis Star. It's tough, but I've gotten through the Jumble and the Crossword. Next, I think I'll try to conquer the Cryptoquip. First, let me share with you a few things I've learned:

• A "wadi" is a dry riverbed. "Waddiwasi" is one of the coolest spells in the Wizarding World.
• Somebody from Nepal is a "Nepali." Somebody from Berlin is a jelly doughnut.
• "Ecru" is a color. "Emu" is an animal. Some emus are ecru.

Fun, Fun, Fun - Beach Boys

Bryan, we both know I have no secret intentions of you liking my Facebook statuses.

Today, my post will be for the followers.  Post in the comments what you tried and liked or disliked!

A Riddle:

Three friends check into a motel for the night and the clerk tells them the bill is $30, payable in advance.  They each pay the clerk $10 and go to their room.  A few minutes later, the clerk realizes he has made an error and overcharged the trio by $5.  He asks the bellhop to return $5 to the 3 friends who had just checked in.  The bellhop sees this as an opportunity to make $2 as he reasons that the three friends would have a tough time dividing $5 evenly among them; so he decides to tell them that the clerk made a mistake of only $3, giving a dollar back to each of the friends.  He pockets the leftover $2 and goes home for the day!  Now, each of the three friends gets a dollar back, thus they each paid $9 for the room, which is a total of $27 for the night.  We know the bellhop pocketed $2 and adding that to the $27, you get $29, not $30 that was originally spent.  Where did the other dollar go?

A funny Sign:

 

Oh, the memories:

Bryan, a few days ago you asked me a question.

My answer:

Click me!

Goodbye Bryan.

Thnks fr th mmrs - Fall Out Boy

Howdy to any of my BSU friends who decided to follow this.  Go to the right sidebar to find out about what this blog is!

Oh Bryan, today I contemplate the pros and cons of receiving a punishment in order to sum up fully everything I learned at “The Greatest Workshop on Earth.”

Here is my class!

 

Bryan, that picture is courtesy of BSUCrossroads.com and BSU Crossroads on Facebook (They have a Twitter, but I do not know what that is).

So, I am sure you want to know all the details about them.  Here is everything I learned about my class. 

Bryan, I may be in the top ten in our Roncalli class, but I was probably one of the worst five in that class at InDesign.  Also, after spending a combined 25 hours with these people doing nothing but staring at Macs (get it, they all stared at me… it is punny…), I learned that it is an unbelievably boring program, no matter how fun your class is.

Thank you class, for not allowing me to fall asleep during sessions.

Making your words sideways not only says that you ran out of room to make them horizontal, but also that you wanted to make your paper “modern.”  That is right ,Bryan, I made an entire feature page where everything was diagonal.

When an all girl’s Catholic school from Kansas is brought to Indiana and there is a boy-girl dance, do not be surprised when they all dress Goth to freak out everyone.  It was the greatest thing I have ever seen to see some of the nicest people in the world paint black tears on their face and dance to Sk8er Boi by Avril Lavinge.

Blue Berry muffins make the best stories known to mankind.

There are many fun high school names in Indiana.  I cannot remember any of them, so you will just have to trust me on that one!

Publication Redesign is a great class to take if you want to redesign your publication.  Yes Bryan, I am dead serious.

Do not get mad at random people working in the office before you find out who your teacher is.  Nothing is more awkward than seeing that it is your teacher.

When people complain about how hot their rooms are, do not point out that you woke up shivering because you sleep in one of the few rooms that has air conditioning.

If you are going to show off your group’s Facebook page at the opening session, remember the following tips:  do not misspell your password in front of everyone and turn off the projector to avoid statuses such as “Asian parents are bitches” from coming up.

If you volunteer to be a contestant on “Name that Journalist!” know more than zero journalists.  Luckily, I was the buzzer so someone just had to tap my head and I just had to scream as if I had just seen someone famous.

I have an awkward love of HiLite.  It is Carmel’s newspaper.  I almost fainted when I was talking to someone from their staff.   Is that… bizarre?  No, I actually think that it is quite normal.

It was my first major glasses experience.  When I took them off, I could still see the black lines where the frames should be.

Okay, I am out of words.

The People I Trust: A Science Problem

Max, I like the idea of having . . . us on the banner. I think we can make some changes to that one to make it still fun but more professional -- and maybe have it say "Two Planes in the Asymptote." We should also consider cartoon faces like the vlogbrothers or, eh, getting a better picture of me. That's all I'm going to say there.

And that is adorable, but I don't know if it's a squirrel or a chipmunk or something else.

This post isn't about the people I obviously trust -- that would be no fun. This post is about the people I trust without always considering how much I really trust them. For instance, other drivers on the road and . . . people who cut hair.

I go to Sport Clips to get my hair cut -- feel free to laugh at the irony -- and the people there are pretty good at what they do, which makes sense because they cut hair for a living. But yesterday, I proposed a hypothesis: I trust the people at Sport Clips too much.

Then, I assembled the data in my head:

• For a large portion of their waking hours, the workers at Sport Clips do nothing but cut hair. As George N. Parks said, "Practice makes permanent," and they typically do a good job.
• The only time I ever see these people is when I get haircuts. People who I consciously trust are people I spend time with (preposition).
• People who cut hair have combs, towels, lots of products, and (most notably) a lot of different kinds of blades -- mostly scissors. If one thing goes wrong, there could be an extra hole in my head.
• A lot of times, as people cut hair, they're multitasking -- talking to me or other employees, watching TV, chewing gum, etc. But just because I'm not very good at multitasking doesn't mean that a lot of other people aren't.
• I pay them thirteen dollars every time because I get a three-dollar discount after doing a survey, and then I give them a three-dollar tip.
• Millions of people get haircuts every day across the globe and probably don't consider any of this.

I'm still not sure of my conclusion at the moment. I'll let you know if I ever figure this out, though. And regardless of what happens with my hypothesis, I think I've discovered that I trust people at Sport Clips a lot more than I've ever realized before. Whether or not that's too much, I'm not quite sure. Maybe I'll do some research.

Celebrate - Kool and the Gang

Hello Bryan.  I agree, your post yesterday had no relevance what so ever.

Bryan, today I feel as though we need to celebrate our blogs greatest accomplishments.

For one, this post marks our fiftieth (that was really hard to spell…) post.  This may make some think we have been posting for fifty days, but because of your punishment, this is really only the forty-ninth post.  You get all the important day markers, and that, unlike post count, will never change.  I will now go crawl in a ditch after our celebration continues!

Bryan, we have fifty-one followers currently, with a few others whom I know have not yet hit the follow button.  This means that we have over one follower per post; however, with our recent trend in gaining no followers, we really need to pick up the pace on gaining followers.  Really people, tell your friends to follow us!  I feel like we may not be able to keep up, but when school starts we should be able to get a quick surge back up.

As you may have seen, we not only past 4000 page views on Tuesday, but we sky rocketed up to 4160 views.  Bryan, this means that each follower has viewed our blog 81.5 times.  Using this number, we can approximate the viewers to have viewed each post 1.6 times.  Obviously these numbers are not exact seeing that I have been known to sit here and hit refresh to get our page view count up.  Nothing wrong with that though!

Lastly, our blog has been officially viewed in five countries worldwide.  Unfortunately, no one in my recent poll was correct due to the lack of “Thailand” as an option, but really Bryan, who would have expected Thailand to have been the next country to view the blog.  However, everyone who picked “Spain” can rest with knowledge that they picked option which appeared quickest.  Our blog has successfully been viewed in the USA, the UK, Germany, Thailand, and Spain.  Really, Thailand?

Bryan, I feel like our viewers deserve proof.  Here is information only me and Bryan (see what I did there?) can normally see.

So, until tomorrow Bryan.

Whatever you are, be a good one.  (I swear that is my quote, not Abe Lincoln’s.)