A Song about an Anglerfish - Nerdfighters

Bryan.

I have to say, your punishment sounds very punishing… for only me.  You see, Bryan, while you may enjoy living life dangerously, never knowing when you may get a paper cut (or, God forbid, Athlete’s Foot on your hand), I prefer my punishments to not be so deadly as to read a book and do a book report.  Bryan, paper cuts induce blood, and we have a rule that punishments cannot cause blood; therefore, reading a book is out of the question.

Okay, now on to something that I want to talk about.  I will now post a picture to help in transitioning everyone’s feeble minds.

No, Bryan, it is not secretly your birthday nor did I randomly decide to ramble about the delicacies that are vanilla cupcakes with little shark fins.

Bryan and fellow followers, it occurs to me that Shark Week is upon us.  Living in Indiana has given me not only firsthand experience on shark safety at the zoo, but has also made me ever wonder about the grace that is the Mako Shark.

Not just any Card Shark, no, Bryan, the illustrious Mako Shark has struck fears in the eyes of anglers everyone.

Disclaimer:  I know nothing about sharks.

It all started when I was born.  Sharks swam around me like a school of guppies attempting at gaining revenge on the evil piranha as clouds break into bursts of lightning illuminating the semi-darkened sky, but alas, all the guppies drowned.  That is right Bryan; guppies can drown.

When God created…

Disclaimer:  I was not present at the creation.

Okay, when God created guppies, he saw a flaw in the way he had created fish.  Fish require water to survive- whether it is fresh, salt, mineral, or, God forbid, flavored.

Bryan, flavored water is possibly the most disgusting beverage on the face of the earth.

Back to the creation story.  See, Bryan, God made guppies special.

Disclaimer:  I know nothing about guppies.

Guppies, Bryan, are able to breathe on land with their gills.

Eureka!  The meaning of life is to give life meaning!

Therefore, Bryan, guppies and sharks should live in peace and harmony.

Until Friday, Bryan.

What time is it?