Ready, TheOtherBryan?

"Window Washer Walter has a mass of 80 kilograms is washing a window that is 24 meters up the side of a building. The ladder upon which he stands is 25 meters long, and the ladder forms a right triangle with the side of the building. Assume that the top of the ladder meets the bottom of the window."

Right, so . . . there's a right triangle. Let me make a quick sketch:

Before you ask me any questions, I have a question of my own. Why is Window Washer Walter (along with all of his math problem friends) using a ladder he has to lean against a building? There are step ladders he could use that would be much less precarious.

"Suddenly, the bottom of the ladder begins to slide away from the building at a rate of 1 meter/sec."

Nope, that's not what happens. You're saying that it suddenly happened so you can prevent a lawsuit. There's a little kid under the ladder who slips on some window washer fluid and falls into the ladder. Then, the ladder moves a constant rate of 1 m/s for one second. That makes a nice line.

a) "What is Window Washer Walter's velocity after three seconds have passed?"

By the time three seconds have passed, Window Washer Walter is rushing down the ladder to help the kid. He's pretty fast, so he can climb down his ladder at about 1 m/s still. So that's my answer.

b) "What is Window Washer Walter's velocity when he reaches the ground?"

Zero. The police show up by the time Walter gets to the bottom, and they tell him to freeze, so he does. They examine Bernard for injuries, and thankfully, he's okay. His name is Bernard, by the way. They ask him why he was under the ladder, and Bernard says that he was running to get a ball that his friend kicked too far.

c) "Assuming that Window Washer Walter suffers a 90% energy loss after hitting the ground, how high will he bounce? Show all work."

This is not a time for bouncing. Walter might get arrested.

Luckily, Bernard's parents don't sue.

Also, to the people making punishment suggestions, Max isn't going to make me do anything illegal or anything with long-term side effects. Also, I really think it would be more enjoyable for everyone and harder for me if I had to write a song to a tune of Max's choice rather than a new tune.

My last punishment fell right next to Max's birthday. I wonder if this punishment is a birthday present for anyone. We'll say it's a present for Erin and Abby because it's going to fall right between their birthdays. Happy Birthday!

Until next time, Max: "In my defense, I believe assault should be legal if the person is a jerk." -Leslie Knope