Negative Reviews . . .

. . . are funny. So while I'm away on a mysterious mission, this post, which will hopefully appear at 11:11 AM, is going to focus on some of the best -- er, worst -- negative reviews I can find.

This post is rated PG-13 for poor grammar and intolerance.

Let's start our journey on YouTube with some of the comments on the vlogbrothers' most viewed video, "People Who Love Giraffes Who Love Giraffes."

"I came here to see giraffes having sex , not you talking!!"

"vlogs are so gay."

"ewaa nerd"

The first quote is looking more and more eloquent, isn't it?

Now, those comments are funny for a multitude of reasons -- the poor grammar, the use of the word "gay" as in insult, the . . . simple diction -- but sometimes, negative reviews are funny for other reasons. Let's move to Amazon's website and look at music and literature, starting with the jazz album Kind of Blue by Miles Davis (and a few other important figures, I suppose).

"Kind of Blue is adequate at best. It has no feel, no mood and no form. I do not see what the hype is. Its pretty basic. When I want to hear real jazz, I will just play my Kenny G's Greatest Hits. Know there is a sax player."

Hahahah. I wonder how John Coltrane and Cannonball Adderley would feel about this.

What's a book that everyone likes? Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone? Ah, listen to myself.

"I dislike Harry Potter. I think that it is frightfully priposterous. There is more magic in the coriidor, mate. So yes I donot agree. So it is frightfully odd."

I think . . . I think I'm going to stop there.

Max, we can learn a lot from these people. First, grammar is an important part of communication. Of course, on an everyday basis, perfect grammar is completely unrealistic. But in a professional setting, ideas are much more effectively expressed when people use apostrophes in the word "its" when it's a contraction. From these particular examples, we can see that if somebody has a view that's not mainstream, presenting it with words like "ewaa" and "priposterious" isn't going to help his or her case.

Second, and more importantly, we can learn about how people can respond to new things; we can have open minds or we can be frightfully (ha) obstinate. I'm not going to make assumptions by saying something like "the first commenter on the vlogbrothers video didn't give John Green a chance," but let's assume that he or she didn't. (So I guess I am making an assumption.) That person could very well be missing out on a life-changing four-minute experience!

It's all right not to enjoy listening to John Green, and it's all right to -- I'm having trouble typing this -- prefer Kenny G over Miles Davis. However, I think that before we jump all over something like an album or a book -- or even just an idea -- that's foreign or disagreeable to us, we should give it the chance that it deserves.

Until tomorrow, Max!